You see them everyday: boxy behemoths with 10-ton bodies and thirsty V-8s; sleek sports cars whose engines are bigger than the passenger compartment; and pickup trucks with V-12 diesel engines and duellies in the back that has never seen dirt or a tie down strap. They are the ridiculously impractical cars that crowd the roadways and suck down gasoline like a kid slurping Kool-aid. I like to call them the Anti-Hybrids; where hybrids are all about conserving gasoline and minimizing emissions, the other variety of automobiles are not.

In America today there is an unusual situation: liberals and conservatives agree on something, and that is they agree Anti-hybrids are bad for the U. S. of A. Of course, they agree for very different reasons. The liberal side of the country wants to conserve fossil fuels and develop alternate energy sources to reduce greenhouse gasses and combat global warming. The conservatives think it’s important the United States become less dependant on Foreign Powers (read: The Middle East), thereby improving homeland security. My point is: who cares why they want to slay the Anit-Hybrids? Let’s just take advantage of the situation to get some laws passed that will minimize the impact of American’s obsession with muscle cars and 13-passenger SUVs.

Here’s my idea: The United States can require every company that sells cars in the USA to have a weighted average MPG of 40 MPG in the city. This law would take effect in some number of years, based on negotiations with the leading car makers. However long the car makers claim it’ll take to reach this goal, I’d recommend the government cut it in half, as I’m sure the companies doubled their estimates. If the company fails to meet the requirement, then they lose their license to do business in the US for one year. Period. Then they get to try again. Now, since it’s a weighted average, if a company sells a bunch of cars with good mileage they can afford to sell a few cars with lousy mileage. As an example: If Honda sells 10 Civic Hybrids (MPG about 50), then they can sell 5 S2000’s (MPG about 22) and still meet their required average (at 40.67 MPG). I imagine this will cause more fuel efficient models, but it won’t eliminate the gas guzzlers, just minimize them.

Thanks to the law of supply and demand, this will cause the price of these models to go through the roof! They will become huge status symbols, and the companies might make just as much on these vehicles as they do today, but do so by selling just a few of them. The law should be revisited yearly, so if 40 MPG proves too easy to meet (which it really should be, whether there are more hybrid models or not), then ratchet up the requirement a MPG or two each year. I don’t mind there being a few Anti-hybrids out on the road with me, but too many of them are just too bad for all of us, for all sorts of reasons.

Mary Jane Author of the soon-to-be bestseller Fate ISBN 0-595-18985-7 Available from bn.com or amazon.com Order it today. Or tomorrow. Whatever works for you.